ApolloHoax.net
Off Topic => General Discussion => Topic started by: Peter B on September 01, 2013, 10:15:36 AM
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Now that it is spring (yes, 1st of the month in Australia), thoughts here in the Bush Capital inevitably turn to swooping magpies. *
For those of you non-Australians convinced our land is full of creatures out to kill us, it's not the spiders, crocs and snakes which worry me (well, not normally) it's the insanely over-protective magpies which decide to swoop or not on often bizarrely idiosyncratic grounds. Any individual magpie will usually be in a swooping frame of mind for a month or two, starting when the eggs hatch and tailing off as the chicks grow. But because different magpies lay eggs at different times, swooping season can last for quite a few months.
Anyway, the Health and Safety people at work sent out an email last Friday warning staff about the time of year. This is the first time I've seen an email like this, but it's probably due to the fact that I'm now working at an organisation (the CSIRO) with a large number of temporary staff from overseas who probably have no knowledge of these infuriating animals with their always lovely carolling but occasionally terrifying behaviour.
The email included a link to a video clip showing some of the things cyclists do to deter the birds, and how well they work with one particular specimen (their idiosyncrasy is such that what deters one magpie is not guaranteed to deter another). You may be surprised what works with this bird.
http://csironewsblog.com/2012/08/15/magpies-preparing-for-air-attacks/
* And yes, it's an issue in the process of walking to school - there could easily be half a dozen magpie territories to traverse in that 700 metres.
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There's a sign by a local office that I've been visiting lately that says something like "Warning: Aggressive Black Bird." I don't know what species it is; I don't think I've ever actually seen it. But it does, apparently, attack.
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Did Alfred Hitchcock ever visit Oz, by any chance?
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There's a sign by a local office that I've been visiting lately that says something like "Warning: Aggressive Black Bird." I don't know what species it is; I don't think I've ever actually seen it. But it does, apparently, attack.
Most local governments around Australia will put up signs warning about dangerous magpies which have been reported in a particular area. In extreme cases birds can be destroyed or removed, but only by appropriate authorities.
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There's a sign by a local office that I've been visiting lately that says something like "Warning: Aggressive Black Bird." I don't know what species it is; I don't think I've ever actually seen it. But it does, apparently, attack.
It would be amusing to me if that was also a magpie. Alas, the Black-billed Magpie only occasionally ventures to the western side of the Cascades and almost never nests there.
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Do crows ever swoop on people the way magpies do?
(The expression "stone th' flamin' crows Bruce" has to come from somewhere!) :D
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Yes, crows will strike people. One hit my mother as she was walking in the park, knocking her hat off. Then it settled in a nearby tree and laughed about it.
However, in Canada, the big danger is red-winged blackbirds. They don't like you going near their nests, and they REALLY don't like you wearing red. I went birding wearing a red rainjacket once, and can still feel their little claws in my hair, and hear their ear-splitting shrieks of rage.
I read about someone who used to run along a marsh, and would carry a badminton racket to volley away the blackbirds as they attacked. Gives a new meaning to "birdie," I suppose.
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Crows attack people in the UK, but rarely. A bigger problem is seagulls, they are vicious things - especially when nesting.
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I suspect that, were it so common a bird as a crow, the sign would just say "crow." I also suspect it's some sort of bird that lives near the water, since the sign is on a fence around a drainage pond.
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Gillianren - if it's in North America, and it's near a pond (particularly one with bulrushes), the bird referred to by the sign is most likely a Red-Winged Blackbird. They like living on fresh-water ponds and waterways (which is why one of my most memorable encounters was on the Point Pelee Marsh Boardwalk).
Grackles are sometimes called "blackbirds," but they are not aggressive in the same way as the RWB.
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Entirely possible. I've gone to the office many times at many times of year for about eight years now, and I've never seen it, so I won't make a claim one way or another.
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The only birds that ever gave me trouble were the Canada geese that infest much of the northeastern US. I left for California 22 years ago, but when I lived in northern NJ they were already an endemic nuisance in many corporate parks thanks to their ponds and closely-cropped grass.
US Air flight 1549, the one from LGA forced down on the Hudson River by a bird strike nearly five years ago, ran into a flock of -- you guessed it -- Canada geese. They have typically twice the weight of the birds then used to certify jet engines against bird ingestion. The engines on that aircraft were each hit by multiple geese.
We should have shipped every Canada goose we could find to Britain during WW2. They would have made excellent defenses against German bombers. Of course, they would also have done a number on the RAF.
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We should have shipped every Canada goose we could find to Britain during WW2. They would have made excellent defenses against German bombers. Of course, they would also have done a number on the RAF.
Canada geese were introduced to Britain in 1665.
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So that's why the Luftwaffe lost the Battle of Britain, huh?
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That and carrots, of course ;)
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That and carrots, of course ;)
OK, that's a story I'm not familiar with. How did carrots win the war?
As for the geese, there is a story that behaviourist B.F. Skinner was working on a pigeon-aided missile guidance system during the war, training the pigeons to tap on a screen to indicate the location of targets. Also, there's the story of the Russian dogs who had mines strapped to their backs, and were trained to run under tanks (unfortunately, the trainers used Russian tanks in their training, not German, with unfortunate results....)
So, why not a trained squad of kamikaze geese?
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The German High Command was starting to wonder why the RAF was so good at shooting down their planes. It was almost as though the British had some device that told them where in the sky airplanes were! So to avoid the Germans' discovering that the British had a functional radar system, I believe the first in the world, they published all these stories about how much carrots improved the eyesight of their pilots. Now, in reality, you could eat carrots until you turned orange with carotenosis, and it wouldn't actually make your eyesight one whit better, but the Germans still fell for it, and the radar installation remained a British secret.
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The German High Command was starting to wonder why the RAF was so good at shooting down their planes. It was almost as though the British had some device that told them where in the sky airplanes were! So to avoid the Germans' discovering that the British had a functional radar system, I believe the first in the world, they published all these stories about how much carrots improved the eyesight of their pilots. Now, in reality, you could eat carrots until you turned orange with carotenosis, and it wouldn't actually make your eyesight one whit better, but the Germans still fell for it, and the radar installation remained a British secret.
When I read this, for some reason, this story has just popped into my head.
German ATC at Frankfurt are renowned for their curtness and lack of patience. They expect arriving pilots to know the airport's gate parking locations and how to get to them without any assistance.
A Pan Am 747 crew reported the following exchange between Frankfurt Ground Movement Control and a BA 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
FRA GMC: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
FRA GMC: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Frankfurt, I'm looking up our gate location now."
FRA GMC: (impatiently) "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206: (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark...and I didn't land."
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... but the Germans still fell for it..
and so did my Mum...
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... but the Germans still fell for it..
and so did my Mum...
Yeah, a lot of people have over the years.
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When I read this, for some reason, this story has just popped into my head.
German ATC at Frankfurt are renowned for their curtness and lack of patience. They expect arriving pilots to know the airport's gate parking locations and how to get to them without any assistance.
A Pan Am 747 crew reported the following exchange between Frankfurt Ground Movement Control and a BA 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
FRA GMC: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
FRA GMC: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Frankfurt, I'm looking up our gate location now."
FRA GMC: (impatiently) "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206: (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark...and I didn't land."
There's an entire collection - it goes like this:
Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally don't hear.
The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and
control towers from around the world:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for
Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:
"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto
Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's
difficult for you to tell the difference between Cs and Ds, but get it
right!"
Continuing her tirade to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting
hysterically: "God, you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to
sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You
can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want
you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally the ground control frequency went terribly silent after the
verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to engage the irate ground
controller in her current state. Tension in every ****pit at LGA was
running high.
Then an unknown pilot broke the silence and asked: "Wasn't I married to you
once?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing with his approach
speed a little high.
San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end of the runway,
if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right
at the lights and return to the airport."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unknown aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!
"Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself
immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after
we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the
runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7.
Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?
"Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we
copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers......"
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The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a
short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking
location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was
with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following
exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call
sign "Speedbird 206":
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you not been to
Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944 but I didn't stop."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one
o'clock, three miles, eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the
little Fokker in sight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Pan Am 727 flight engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich
overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in
Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody
war!"
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And getting back to the original topic - it's definitely spring in Canberra...
Earlier this week I walked my son to school. Despite it being a sunny day I took an umbrella with me. Just as well. As we crossed the school oval a magpie took exception to a boy playing too close by and swooped him several times. I opened the umbrella and we hurried across to the boy. The magpie had one go at the umbrella, but then seemed to think he'd made his point, allowing us to reach the school without further incident.
Two days later the same bird attacked another boy, who was rescued by an older student.