Kids say the darnedest things...

[Bryanpoprobson]

My granddaughter Eva does make me laugh, but tonight’s effort crossed the line. She thought it would be funny to ask mummy for a cuddle and sneakily rub slime in her hair. Mummy was not impressed.

[Peter B]

Ah, lamingtons, a very enjoyable treat for dessert (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamington) which we know the kids will eat.

Anyway, we picked up a pack of 18 lamington fingers to provide dessert for a couple of days. The usual deal had been one lamington finger for each of the kids...

7YOD: Why do you only give us one lamington finger each for dessert?

(I go to the kitchen and find there are seven fingers left. I serve two to each of the kids and save the last for myself.)

7YOD: Why did you give us two lamington fingers for dessert?

Me: *sigh*

[Peter B]

Movie time on Sunday afternoon

I put a movie into the DVD player.

12YOS walks in.

12YOS: What's the movie?

9YOS walks in.

Me: "The Three Musketeers", based on a novel by Alexandre Dumas.

9YOS: What's the movie?

7YOD walks in.

Me (curtly): "The Three Musketeers", based on a novel by Alexandre Dumas.

7YOD: What's the movie?

Me (exasperated): "The Three Musketeers", based on a novel by Alexandre Dumas! Doesn't anyone listen in this house?

[gillianren]

Yesterday, Graham put in Porco Rosso for Irene.  When I suggested she go watch it, she told me Graham had not put in Porco Rosso.  He put in Flying Pig.  (For those unaware, Porco Rosso is a charming Miyazaki film about a World War I pilot who is cursed and turned into a pig.  In the American dub, he's voiced by Michael Keaton.)

[Peter B]

Mummy is walking 10YOS and 7YOD to school.

Mummy notices 10YOS is trying to read a (Harry Potter) book as he walks.

Mummy: Please stop reading or you'll go splat.

10YOS: I'll be fine.

Another parent and child join the footpath a little front.

Mummy: Please stop reading or you'll go splat, and I'll say I told you so.

10YOS: I'll be fine!

Parent in front sniggers.

They approach school and other parents approach with their kids.

10YOS starts to walk up the rough incline onto the school's sports ground, still reading. He walks into a tree but manages to stay on his feet. He looks around in case Mummy saw.

Mummy: I did warn you I'd say 'I told you so.'

Other parents snigger.

[gillianren]

"I love you and Dad and even Simon!"

[Peter B]

7YOD opens fridge door to stare at contents. After a lengthy stare...

Mummy: Shut the door, it's a waste of electricity!

7YOD (reluctantly shutting fridge door): But I'm looking to see what leftovers I can have for lunch!

Mummy: There's sausage risotto, quiche, chicken nuggets...

7YOD: Is there tuna bake? I really liked the tuna bake.

Mummy: Yes, there's tuna bake.

7YOD: Yum!

Mummy: So what do you want for lunch?

7YOD: Quiche.

[gillianren]

Simon's birthday is Sunday, and I've arranged to have a lot of my friends send him birthday cards.  Also, I'm not going out to buy things in person and am having them shipped.  So we've been having a lot of packages arrive.  Irene has apparently decided that whoever brings in the package in is the person the package belongs to.

[Peter B]

Mummy is wearing a particularly fluffy sweatshirt. She sits down, and 7YOD climbs onto her for a cuddle.

7YOD: Ooh, you're so beautifully cuddly. How do people make hammers?

[gillianren]

Simon's godmother and her mom, the kids' adopted grandmother, stopped by yesterday to do a social distancing birthday drop.  I came outside first with Irene, who said, "I supposed to say hi."

[Peter B]

On a cold winter's day, 10YOS goes out on a playdate with a classmate. Classmate is wearing shorts and a T-shirt. 7YOD is standing at the front window watching them leave.

7YOD: I can't believe he's wearing short sleeves on a day like this.

Me: What are you talking about? You're wearing a T-shirt.

[Peter B]

12YOS walks into the kitchen and stares thoughtfully into the fridge.

12YOS: Mum, there are four chicken envelopes left. Can I have two for lunch?

Mum: Yes, that's fine.

Me (walking into the kitchen behind 12YOS): Hang on, you've just eaten two. You're not having four chicken envelopes for lunch.

[Bryanpoprobson]

So Eva age 5 at it again. Has finally got a check up for her eyes as clinics begin to open again (her bad eye is now two points down) . The doctor is waving his hands and said, “Who’s waving, me or mummy?“
Eva, “Duh, you, obviously?”
Doctor, “There are three dogs on the screen in front of you, how many monkeys are there!”
Eva, “None, I left my brothers at home!”

Then on Sunday had the family over and my sons girlfriend offers to clear up after dinner. She says, “Actually it gives me a five minute break from looking after my baby! After clearing up Eva says, “Well you’ve had your five minutes, better get back to your baby!”

The little minx is just so cheeky, but it’s all instant.

[Peter B]

There's going to be an election in the ACT in a couple of months, so candidates are just starting to distribute material.

I picked a pamphlet out of the letter box for one candidate and left it on a table where 10YOS saw it.

10YOS: Wow, he's got the same name as a kid in my year.

Me: Yes, this guy is your classmate's father.

10YOS: I had no idea these people had children just like us.

[Peter B]

The kids are convinced they don't like mushrooms. I quite like them, so a tin of mushroom soup goes down well with me. I've tried to bring the kids along with the soup thing, but because it was mushroom soup they weren't going to try it.

Anyway, the Campbell's brand soup tin has a recipe on the side for making beef stroganoff, with the tinned soup being one of the ingredients. I cooked it up one evening, telling the kids only what the dish was called, and not what it contained.

As I suspected, they all enjoyed it and all wanted seconds.

Me: So you want some more?

10YOS: Yes! And can you make sure I get some of the curved meat?

Me: You're sure you want some of the curved meat?

10YOS: Yes, the meat that you cut into curves.

Me: Oh, you mean the mushrooms.

All three of them: !!

Me: So does that mean you'll try mushroom soup now?

All three of them: No!