Kids say the darnedest things...

[Bryanpoprobson]

Three of my grandkids and my daughter were caught up in London’s latest terror incident. Little Harry is too young for it to affect him. My daughter was full of praise for Finley and Eva as they listened to the police instructions (although Eva had to go back and get some food she left). I only hope it doesn’t play too much on Finley as he does over think things and this will play on his mind for sometime.
Brings to mind how vulnerable we all are to this kind of thing. I’m taking my staff out in London today and the wife is really apprehensive about it now.

[Peter B]

Kids are watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the TV one Saturday morning...

7YOD makes an idle comment about Michaelangelo liking a pizza for his bee.

9YOS and 12YOS are distracted enough by the strangeness of the comment to look away from the TV at her.

It takes a considerable amount of back-and-forth between the three of them until the boys work out that she was talking about Michaelangelo liking a pizza frisbee...

[Peter B]

7YOD is taking a really long time to eat her breakfast.

Mummy: Why are you always looking down at your lap?

7YOD (looks up guiltily): I like looking at it. It's a nice looking lap.

Suspicious Mummy gets up to investigate, and finds 7YOD has a book on her lap which she's trying to read as she eats.

= = = =

9YOS showing his maturity with the questions he asks...

9YOS: What's a civil war?

9YOS: Will I catch the coronavirus?

9YOS: Will Bernie Sanders be the person to beat Donald Trump at the election?

...and then...

9YOS to 12YOS: Can I fart in your clarinet?

[gillianren]

Yesterday during our home inspection (we are finally buying a house), Irene demanded that I "make a lap" for her to sit in.

[LunarOrbit]

we are finally buying a house

Congratulations!

[gillianren]

Thank you kindly!  We're keeping Simon in his current school until the end of the school year, but right now, there's a lot of excitement around here.  We have a meeting with our mortgage broker Tuesday to make sure that's all in order.  A guy from the VA has to inspect the house to make sure it qualifies for a VA loan.  And then, after over two years of looking and having been outbid four times, we're going to have enough room!  Both kids will have their own rooms!  Two bathrooms!  A backyard!  Simon hasn't seen the house yet, because we've managed to do all the house-related appointments while he's in school.  But he already declared one of the bedrooms his.

[Peter B]

A few weeks ago we melted some chocolate into moulds to make simple decorations for a birthday cake, and there were a few left over. Lacking any other dessert for the kids' dinner we offered them a couple of these chocolates each - one shaped like a love heart and one shaped like a unicorn's head.

Not realising at first that everyone had received the same amount of chocolate, the kids checked each others' bowls, which soon degenerated into arguments about the relative sizes of the pieces, and accusations and denials about what each had said.

So I asked, "You kids would seriously prefer to argue with each other than eat chocolate?"

At which point silence fell and they shoved the chocolate into their mouths...

[Bryanpoprobson]

First day of home schooling, because of school closures in UK. Eva goes up to her dad and says “ Mummy is a rubbish teacher, I’m not going to her school tomorrow!”

[Bryanpoprobson]

Isolation has got to my grandson Harry 🤪 his new best friend is a potato that he carries everywhere and tucks up to bed in Eva’s Sylvanian house 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

[gillianren]

Me, muttering under my breath: "If I can get this lid open, anyway."

Irene: "You can do it, Mom!  I know you can!"

[gillianren]

Irene has started asking if she can do everything "for a while."  "Can I do my work for a while?"  "Can I eat food for a while?"

[Peter B]

I'd been introducing a work colleague to the amusements of Chuck Norris memes. One in particular is relevant:

Spell check doesn't correct Chuck Norris's spelling. It corrects the dictionary.

Anyway, 7YOD was doing some homework online in the form of a maths quiz. After everything had been going fine for a while, she got quite cranky - the computer kept giving her the wrong answer...

[Bryanpoprobson]

Eva - age 5
Fin - age 6
1. What is the Corona virus?
Eva - bugs and germs that make you poorly
Fin - a germ
2. Who is the prime minister?
Eva - Boris Johnson
Fin -Boris Johnson
3. How many days have we been in lockdown?
Eva - 22 days ages and ages
Fin -7 weeks
4. What is/did mummy wear/or wearing today?
Eva - work clothes
Fin - clothes
5. Do you want to go back to nursery/school?
Eva - Yes
Fin - No
6. Who is the first person you are going to hug when lockdown ends?
Eva - I have loads Summer, Mrs Grant, Sarah, Nanna Dawn, Char Hester, Nanna Jane, Carly, Rory , Simon, Jenson, Kelly, MandyandLorne Roxanne’s mummy, Grandad Paul and Nanny Tammy
Fin - No one I only cuddle mummy
7. Where is the first place you want to go?
Eva - France 🤷‍♀️
Fin - Football training
8. What do you think we can do to get rid of the Corona virus?
Eva - Help save lives by giving food
Finley -Stay home
9. Is mummy a good teacher? 
Eva - Yes but daddy isn’t
Fin - Yes but you get angry at Eva a lot 🤣
10. If corona virus was an animal what animal would it be?
Eva - Triceratops
Fin - Fly because it’s annoying like a fly
11. How did the Corona Virus start?
Eva - Don’t know
Fin - By people throwing rubbish everywhere
12.If you had to wear protective clothing to help you what would it be?
Eva - T-shirt, vest, jumper, coat, leggings with plastic clothes on top 🤣
Fin - Full body armour like a knight

[gillianren]

We got kittens yesterday, which is of course a wealth of fun stuff the kids say.

Irene: "I don't like the cat food.  I tasted it, and it tastes yucky."

[later] Me: "What do we do with the cats?"

Irene: "Feed them with cat food, I think."

Simon, meanwhile, learned last night how to be patient and wait for the kittens to come to him, because one of them's a definite lap cat if you'll settle down long enough for her to climb on your lap, but excited kids are alarming enough so that going after her just results in Disappearing Kitty.

[gillianren]

"I love you."

"I love burping."