Kids say the darnedest things...

[gillianren]

Yesterday, Sandy was granting wishes with a "wand."  (In fact a bubble wand.)  I'd actually been thinking recently about what wishes I would ask for if such a thing were possible, for reasons, so when she asked me my first wish, I said, "I wish all plastic were infinitely recyclable."

She paused a second, waved her wand, and said, "Okay!"  Did she know what I meant?  Not even a little!  But she was by-Gods going to grant my wish!

[Peter B]

11YOS was writing about his sister, 9YOD, for a class assignment:

Her room can be very messy. No, scratch that, her room is ALWAYS, very, VERY messy. It (most of the time, anyway) looks as if a squid-out-of-water tried to unwrap 50 presents while juggling 7 balls and playing tennis against an angry whale. And failing miserably.

11YOS writing about koalas for a class assignment:

Koalas have adapted to their environment with sharp claws to grip onto trees. They also have long, muscular arms and legs to help with climbing trees and rough skin on their feet to provide friction and prevent drop bear myths from coming true. Because believe me, you do NOT want a koala to fall on your head.

I understand some of his writing has been passed around the staff room. I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed...

[molesworth]

...
I understand some of his writing has been passed around the staff room. I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed...

I'd go with "proud". He has a really great way with words, and a sense of humour to go with it. I foresee a career involving writing ahead of him 

[gillianren]

Oh, yeah, I was definitely the kid whose writing got passed around like that.  I don't make a lot of money from my writing--darn bipolar disorder, making it hard for me to send things out!--but I make a little, and I enjoy doing it.

Meanwhile, I was playing Battleship with Zane yesterday.  Sandy was sitting next to me and told me, "I'm counting on you."

[gillianren]

Yesterday, Zane was given a "spy notebook" in a goodie bag for a classmate's birthday.  It's an ordinary notebook, of course, but it comes with a pen that writes in UV-visible ink, which of course comes with a UV light at the end.  So this morning on the way to his bus, we were talking about the spectrum.  I pointed out that, since the Sun also produces UV light, technically it was a colour from out of space.  Therefore, he knows more science now than H. P. Lovecraft.  He stuck his tongue out at me.

[BertieSlack]

Me: Who was the 2nd man to walk on the Moon?
My boy: Bob Lightyear

[gillianren]

To Sandy, about gulls: "Females."
Sandy: "What?"
Me: "Girls."
"What?"

[Peter B]

12YOS walks into the room where Mummy and I are watching the news.

12YOS: What's this about?

Me: It's about the mid-term elections in the USA.

12YOS (thoughtfully): Oh, yes, I'd forgotten they were coming up.

(And yes, he is indeed engaged with American politics!)

[Geordie]

[During conversation about Orion reentry]

12YOD: "When did they first land on the Moon?"

Me: "Sixty-nine."

12YOD: [snicker]

Me: "What's so funny about that?!!"

[Bryanpoprobson]

Snowing here in the UK so everything shuts down, including school. Grandchildren playing snowballs in the garden. Eva (7) puts one in her pocket and comes indoors. “I’m saving that one for later on,” says she.

[gillianren]

I had to talk Zane out of bringing one on the bus the other day.

[Bryanpoprobson]

Eva explaining why she was on the class naughty list today, this child will be UK Prime Minister one day.

[gillianren]

Zane would sympathize.

[Peter B]

9YOD learns ballet at the local dance academy. Last night they had their end of year show, so there were displays of contemporary, break, hip hop and jazz dancing as well as ballet, by kids from 5 to 18.

In the second half, one of the elite dance classes came out, each dancer carrying a chair. They arranged them in a V across the stage and sat on them.

Me: I hope they don't break the chairs in their routine.

12YOS: It's hip hop, not break dancing.

[Peter B]

Spotted today, watching the TV on a coolish summer's day: 15YOS, wearing shorts and a T-shirt, under a blanket, with the fan blowing cold air at him.

When I asked him why he put the fan on if he was under a blanket, his reply was: "I didn't notice who put it on." (He did put it on.)

I mentioned this to my wife, who bluntly replied, "I think our son is an idiot."