Jokes for Engineers... :)

[Dalhousie]

How do you tell an extroverted engineer?

They look at your shoes when the talk to you.

[Bryanpoprobson]

Talking of Engineers, I have gone back to telecommunications engineering, but I am learning the broadband and telephone installation side of the business, from the ground up. Now bearing in mind that 7 weeks ago I could hardly walk, look what the bar-stewards had me doing last Monday.

56 years of age and they have me climbing poles.

[Bryanpoprobson]

Wife texts her  husband at work on a cold winter's morning;
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back;
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later;
"Computer really f*#@*d now."

[ka9q]

Good one. The "cold winter morning" part is important to the setup.

[Bryanpoprobson]

Most people in the UK know of Harry Enfield, for those in the US and other part of the world here is an example of his work. Hopefully the content is worldwide viewable, if not I will post another version of it.

[ka9q]

"I've got a slug..."

I've heard that the Japanese language can be so ambiguous that there's an entire genre of comedy that works just like this, with all the dialogue interpretable in more than one way.

[BazBear]

Most people in the UK know of Harry Enfield, for those in the US and other part of the world here is an example of his work. Hopefully the content is worldwide viewable, if not I will post another version of it.

It worked for me here in the US. Thanks, that was funny!

[Bryanpoprobson]

I did a controlled experiment, I stayed up all night to see where the Sun went, then it dawned on me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.......... I can't put it down..

When Chemist's die, do they Barium?

My doctor told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O.

[nomuse]

For some reason #8 in the top post woke up my somewhat nascent gender sensitivity. Well, yeah...the bike is the sensible choice for anyone not a heteronormative man with a malfunctioning moral compass. Assuming "Get this person some help" is not on the menu at all.

Recasting it leads to some interesting options, though, and possibly a deeper humor. Was the second speaker being catty, or also being obtusely practical when he/she said the clothes probably wouldn't fit?

[Northern Lurker]

2. To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

To the physicist, the glass is full it just has a liquid phase and a gaseous phase.
And while the rest were bickering the opportunist drank the rest.

Lurky

[ka9q]

I should think the physicist would seal off the top of the glass, heat it above the critical temperature of the water inside, and say "what liquid phase?"

[Luke Pemberton]

I should think the physicist would seal off the top of the glass, heat it above the critical temperature of the water inside, and say "what liquid phase?"

...or, the physicist puts the glass into a box that no one can see in, and then asks 'which half of the glass is full, the top half or the bottom half?'

This reminds me a little of Maxwell's demon. Did Maxwell touch upon the nature of quantum mechanics with his demon?