I'm sure we will be opening more refugee camps for scared American expats soon. Maybe they can get a "Welcome to Canada" briefing from some of the Syrian refugees we've taken in.
If those American expats think their former government is going to leave them alone just because they've left the US proper for a colony, they're out of their f***ing minds. They can run away to the jungles of Cambodia, and they will still find the American government has crawled up their arses even further than when they were living in the US.
I have a feeling they're also going to be rather underwhelmed by the lack of Canadian enthusiasm for the presence of a group of such incredibly awesome people as themselves.
So let us imagine how this journey will go. A bunch of people, many of whom supported Obama for eight years and then voted for Clinton, will declare, "Remember when we didn't care how many evil foreigners were being exterminated, as long as we got what we wanted? We still don't care how many foreigners are killed, but now we're not getting what we want! This is not some minor unimportant issue like foreigners getting blown apart - we have to live under Trump!" So they pack up their empathy-free bubbles, and head off to - not one of the numerous countries where they've been dropping democracy from the sky in 500-pound metal containers, but Canada. Clearly, what's good enough for the inferior races isn't good enough for them.
Karmic justice will have thus bitten them in the arse once already, but they may find it isn't done with them yet.
First, they will have to get to Canada. How will they get there? If they fly, they might get to the airport and discover that the Trump has used one of the powers he inherited from the Great, Wise, and Benevolent Obama to prevent them from flying. How does one get on the no-fly list? No one is really sure, it's secret. How does one get off of it? One doesn't, really. Well, possibly. One could ask politely to the great dictatorship in Washington, "Oh please, glorious, all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-holy government, I'm a good person, please let me fly? When I had no problem at all with you having dictatorial powers to punish any person you like by refusing to let them fly, I thought you were only going to use this power against people I don't like! I didn't think you were going to use it against holy self-righteous people like me!" Well, perhaps they ought to leave the last part out - challenging the government tends not to end well for the challenger in police states. So if one is sufficiently obsequious and grovels well enough, perhaps one will get off the list. What's that you say? Go to court and challenge it? Surely that is some kind of joke?
So, if their grovelling is unsuccessful, or if they just don't feel like waiting a few years to see whether the government will, in its munificence, decide to allow them to fly, maybe they can all take a bus together. Obviously it will have to be a special reinforced bus to be able to withstand the internal pressure from carrying so much holiness and righteousness. But, they will still need a passport to get to Canada, and another particular bit of karmic justice might bite them in the arse here. Well, this one is more debatable, since the Great, Wise, and Benevolent Obama didn't enact this one until
after 2012, so they could plausibly claim they didn't vote for it. That's a rather convenient fact, isn't it? But, the Trump may decide to use another one of the powers he inherits from the GBW Obama, and cancel their passports. Under recent legislation, all it takes to cancel their passports is an allegation of unpaid taxes - no proof, no court hearing, the IRS just has to say so. They could spend thousands of dollars and years in court fighting to get it back, and perhaps even be successful, although it's not clear what would prevent the IRS from revoking the passport again the very next day. Just imagine their outrage - "I only support confiscation of passports without due process from people I don't like! How dare the government confiscate
my passport!" Well, fair enough, maybe they can claim they didn't actually support this one.
Should they avoid, or circumvent, these two obstacles, they can board the bus and head off to Canada. Perhaps the Trump will know they are going, having used the incredibly comprehensive electronic surveillance powers he will inherit from the GWB Obama. One can only imagine their outrage once again - "I support spying on
other people, not on me!" And perhaps their concern over this spying will be justified, if the Trump decides to blast them straight to hell, using the powers of universal assassination he will inherit from the GWB Obama. Once again, imagine their outrage during their last seconds of life, as they see the missile streaking towards them, and they shout, "This is the greatest injustice in the history of the world! I only supported terrorism for eight years (or longer) because I thought only people I didn't like would be killed! How dare they kill a supporter of terrorism like me!" And they and their empathy-free bubbles would then be torn apart rather violently. How awful.
Should they avoid all of these particular forms of karmic justice, and manage to get to Canada, they might then notice that there aren't long queues of people waiting to give free blow jobs to these incredibly awesome, holy, and righteous newcomers, and be surprised that there are so many Trump supporters in Canada. But no matter, their troubles are almost over, at least until they try to open a bank account. Or buy a prepaid fare card for the Toronto transit system. Or try to engage in any one of a number of other actions that are perfectly legal from people from every country in the world, except those from "the land of the free". So a lot of the advice they receive from the Syrian refugees won't apply, since Syrians have many freedoms Americans don't - the GWB Obama signed legislation in his first term that imposed serious economic sanctions on any country in the world that did not discriminate against Americans, although this did not keep too many people from voting him a second term. But, they will now discover to their sorrow, that the US was not content to be a police state within its borders, but needed to be the dictatorship of the entire world. And exercising the right to kill anyone anytime for no reason at all was not enough - imposing its regulation extraterritorially on the entire world (the US justification for going to war against the UK in 1812) was also necessary. So these Americans will find that they have trouble opening a bank account, as many Canadian banks don't want to take the risk of running afoul of the extensive, complex regulations from the global regulatory authorities in Washington. Opening a securities account will be essentially impossible. They will have to file US taxes, just like they always did, but they'll also have to report their prepaid Toronto transit fare card not once, but twice a year, to the US government. Failure to do so is a felony - well the US needs to make sure they're not using that fare card for money laundering purposes. That seems quite reasonable, doesn't it? The person who was fined for failure to pay American taxes on the Canadian disability pension she was receiving for her mentally handicapped son might have something to say about this. She might also have something to say about how she can't escape these difficult, expensive, reporting requirements, because her son, being mentally handicapped, lacks the requisite cognitive capacity to relinquish his US citizenship under US law. So just imagine the outrage our American refugees feel when they find this particular law passed by the GWB Obama in his first term bites
them in the arse. They'll be so enraged the empathy-free bubbles they live in might even burst.
They could ask the bus to stop at the American embassy so they can give up their US citizenship, an absolutely necessary step for living a normal life. This process is expensive, time-consuming, and difficult - we might suspect the US would bomb China if it had such an expatriation process. (From what I've heard, it doesn't - China seems to have quite a lot of freedoms the US doesn't.) Last I heard, the waiting period was over a year. Maybe it's shorter now.
So what do you think? Within a few years, would these American refugees have assimilated themselves into and made their mark on Canadian society? Would Canada be bombing the crap out of the rest of the world, conducting assassinations, detaining people for years without trial, and doing all the other sorts of things they supported under the GWB Obama? (Maybe Obama could become the Prime Minister of Canada!) Of would they be allied with Trump, demanding that he "fight for their freedom", bomb Ottawa, invade Canada, and possibly annex it?
