Kids say the darnedest things...

[Ranb]

I gave my then 5 year old granddaughter a super soaker (squirt gun), but one that was inferior to my own.  First chance she got she squirted me with it saying, " Got you!"  This was repeated several times.

Ranb

[gillianren]

Yesterday was Simon's end-of-the-year popsicle party at school.  The mom of one of his friends was late, and his friend was very upset about this.  I recorded a song they performed for the parents, and you can hear her loud, angry voice still.  Even after her mom had gotten there.

[gillianren]

Yesterday, we were trying to teach Irene to sign "more" in ASL, since she's still nonverbal.  We were out for lunch together, the kids and I, and Simon and I were giving her fries when she made the sign.  So she stretched out her hand in her "gimme" sign.  "Say more, Irene!" said Simon, accompanied by the right sign.  She shook her head.

[gillianren]

Simon, ruefully: "There's too much warm in here."

[Kiwi]

Three-year-old visitor climbed onto my lap so I could help cover her eyes while she, her two older sisters and I watched the first scary part in “Jurassic Park” where the T-Rex attacks the two children in the car. After things had calmed down and she could watch again, she started to play with my belt buckle, and I guessed it was because the buckle was a big, shiny chrome one. She continued for quite some time and was obviously thinking something, so I asked, "What are you doing?"

With a big grin, she answered, "I dunna take dim an' trow dim away!"

"What?!! What are you going to throw away?"

"'Or pants!"

With a big laugh, I said, "Oooh! That would be awful. I'd have nothing on!"

Quick as a flash she jabbed a finger into my shirt and chest and answered, "Oo'd av dat on!"

"But I'd have nothing on the bottom! What would your mum say if I told her you'd thrown away my pants?"

"I'd tell on oo!"

[Bryanpoprobson]

A real Awwwwww moment, I have a static caravan by the coast my Grandchildren were there along with my wife's cousins little boy (Kayden aged 5). We were taking the children to the club house and they had all got showered and dressed. Summer, (my 5 year old Granddaughter) came out of her bedroom and Kayden said, "Why Summer, you look absolutely fantastic in that outfit!"
To which Summer replied, "Why, thank you Kayden, that's very nice of you to say!"

DO kids grow up too quickly these days? 

[gillianren]

"Please can I have five more cookies of ten deliciousness?"

[Peter B]

A real Awwwwww moment, I have a static caravan by the coast my Grandchildren were there along with my wife's cousins little boy (Kayden aged 5). We were taking the children to the club house and they had all got showered and dressed. Summer, (my 5 year old Granddaughter) came out of her bedroom and Kayden said, "Why Summer, you look absolutely fantastic in that outfit!"
To which Summer replied, "Why, thank you Kayden, that's very nice of you to say!"

DO kids grow up too quickly these days? 

Maybe, but sounding grown up like this charms the socks off other adults. And remember, our grandparents were probably expected to speak to each other like that...

8YOS's girlfriend in his class has the same name as 5YOD, which occasionally leads to confusion over which girl he's talking about. Last Friday was the Year 2 Zoo, in which each child chose an animal, made a model of it, drew a picture of it, and wrote a few lines about it. These were placed around the classrooms while parents and other students came to visit. Each child stood by their exhibit to talk about their animal and answer questions.

8YOS explained at dinner time how 5YOD had hung around him most of the time she'd been visiting the "Zoo", but 10YOS was unsure whether his brother was talking about their little sister or his girlfriend.

8YOS: Oh, I was talking about 5YOD. It wouldn't have been appropriate for <girlfriend> to hang around with me.

(He meant, after all, that she had her own exhibit to present. But the way he said it sounded slightly moralising.)

[Peter B]

Discussing meteorology around the dinner table...

5YOD: What's a hurricane?

10YOS: It's similar to a tornado, but very different.

(Full points for conciseness, given his otherwise lengthy, rambling answers, but still...)

[gillianren]

Last night, Simon informed me that the woods (well, "woods") near our apartment are called Simon's Woods.  This, he told me, is because they are on Simon's World.  It is called that because he's the one who thought to name it.  I asked what it was called before he was born, and he said it didn't have a name.

[gillianren]

Simon, yesterday: "I'm not scared of anything, because I'm five now."

Also Simon, also yesterday: "I can't get down that way, because I'm scared."

Also he is apparently scared of evil clowns.  Me, to friend: "Stephen King has a lot to answer for."

[raven]

This was a  little kid at a free family cooking class I help teach who was acting up and, honestly, did not realize the full impact of his words, just that they had an impact. But he was acting up, and I told him I would inform his mother of his actions, after he started calling out "You're a <female canine>, you're a <female canine/>!" And when I did get his mother, he said, referring to me, "She's a <female canine/>!" repeatedly.
As a woman in transition, it certainly resulted in some mixed feelings!

[Peter B]

(apologies in advance for dotted out rude word)

5YOD: [chattering endlessly to Mummy]

Mummy (not paying much attention): Yes dear, that's fabulous.

5YOD (horrified): You said the f-word.

Mummy (now paying attention): No, that's not the f-word.

5YOD (quietly): Is it f...?

Mummy: Yes! Now please don't use that word again.

[Peter B]

5YOD: What's for dessert?

Mummy (mysteriously): That depends.

5YOD (walking away, thoughtfully): I wonder what Depends is? (To brothers) Boys, we're having Depends for dessert!

[Northern Lurker]

5YOD: What's for dessert?

Mummy (mysteriously): That depends.

5YOD (walking away, thoughtfully): I wonder what Depends is? (To brothers) Boys, we're having Depends for dessert!

Hope they were unsoiled