How would conspiracy theorists design the Apollo Program?

[apollo16uvc]

Anyone who argues with conspiracy theorist will know their views on the Apollo Program machines, crafts and designs. Frequently they argue about how stupid everything looks, how nothing makes sense, or shouldn't be able to work at all.

My favourite way to question their

"argument"

Is by asking how it should have been build, and why. I am sure many ideas, which they claim NASA was too stupid to 'pretent' to build, have come up.

So what would the Apollo program look like if designed conspiracy theorist?

The Saturn-v would be a giant single stage rocket as tall as the Empire State building. The LM and CM shielding needs to be made out of meter thick sheets of lead. Of course they will shoot right for the moon, through the most intense part of the Van Allen radiation belt. The LM is actually also a giant rocket, because you need to lift off the moon right back to earth!

Hasselblad camera's have to be put in a lead box, because Ekatchrome film was clearly sensitive to ultraviolet light and high energy particles. (Also I can't wait to shoot Ektachrome 35mm film when it becomes available again in 2017).

The rover has inflated tires made out of several inches of thick rubber to protect from the -200 +200 Celsius degrees temperature changes.

The rover TV camera has a massive antenna that always has to be pointed to the Earth, otherwise the universe will explode.

The suits don't recycle oxygen, and thus have to carry large amounts of gaseous oxygen.

I think this will go rather well.

[Peter B]

Heh.

In my experience Hoax Proponents will do anything to avoid creating any sort of narrative around how the hoax was perpetrated. Because almost as soon as they do their narrative contradicts itself or in some other ways runs into absurdity.

Our old mate Turbonium, for example, simply admitted to having absolutely no idea how the hoax was perpetrated. It soon turned into a game of "NASA can do anything to perpetrate the hoax; but actually landing astronauts on the Moon and safely returning them to Earth is just impossible".

[bknight]

All of the arguments listed and many more not listed are mostly founded on observations from Earthly experiences and a complete misunderstanding/non understanding of physics.  You can't argue with stupid, rather attempt to present the real case not incorrect observations or misunderstandings.

[Bryanpoprobson]

The Saturn-v would be a giant single stage rocket as tall as the Empire State building. The LM and CM shielding needs to be made out of meter thick sheets of lead. Of course they will shoot right for the moon, through the most intense part of the Van Allen radiation belt. The LM is actually also a giant rocket, because you need to lift off the moon right back to earth!

Not forgetting the SM needing to be twice the size in order to house the super computer needed to accurately work out their position and the actuation of any corrective burns. This was all of course impossible in 1969 without a quantum  computer.


PS What the F*** is a slide rule anyway?

[onebigmonkey]

They'd have included a big arc lamp to flash "Hi Mom" at the folks back home.

[Abaddon]

Didn't von Braun originally start out with an enormous single stage rocket as a concept?

[Zakalwe]

Well, we'd need a massive rocket....

[Abaddon]

Well, we'd need a massive rocket....

Seen it many times, still makes me giggle.

[Count Zero]

The SM has to be really big to hold the fuel to burn the rocket all the way to the Moon and back. 

Re: the narrative, Gillian has a standard question about that which she asks newly-arrived HBs.  I don't recall the wording, but it is simple and brilliant.

[Halcyon Dayz, FCD]

Didn't von Braun originally start out with an enormous single stage rocket as a concept?

I think he only ever used that as an example of how not to do it.

His mentor Hermann Oberth was science adviser for the film Woman in the Moon (Germany-1929) in which the moon rocket uses staging.
All the rocket buffs were well aware that staging would be necessary.

[Obviousman]

I think people confuse it with the Nova.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nova_(rocket)

[Ranb]

Didn't von Braun originally start out with an enormous single stage rocket as a concept?

You're probably thinking of the direct ascent approach which used a large single stage machine to go from Earth orbit to the moon, then leave the moon intact and re-enter the Earth's atmosphere.  The large lunar vehicle would have required assembly in Earth orbit or a rocket much larger than the Saturn V to lift it to orbit.

Ranb

[Count Zero]

Theoretically, a high enough exhaust velocity could lower the mass-ratio to where it would be practical for a single-stage-to-the-moon rocket.  In the 1940s, with the seemingly unlimited promise of nuclear energy, this was the basis for some of Chesley Bonestell's artwork, Robert Heinlein's "Destination Moon" and the George Pal movie of the same name (which Bonestell worked on).

 

[smartcooky]

Heh.

In my experience Hoax Proponents will do anything to avoid creating any sort of narrative around how the hoax was perpetrated. Because almost as soon as they do their narrative contradicts itself or in some other ways runs into absurdity.

Our old mate Turbonium, for example, simply admitted to having absolutely no idea how the hoax was perpetrated. It soon turned into a game of "NASA can do anything to perpetrate the hoax; but actually landing astronauts on the Moon and safely returning them to Earth is just impossible".

And there's the rub. It would simply be many times more difficult and many, many times more expensive to hoax the Apollo program; its rather like Titantic.

In 1912, RMS Titanic cost US$7.5 million to build; in 1997 adjusted dollars, that is US$120 million, but James Cameron's 1997 film which essentially "faked" the sinking of the Titanic, cost US$200 million to make.... so its cheaper to build a Titanic, sail it out of Southampton and run it into a iceberg to sink it than it than it is to fake doing so with movie FX.

But most importantly, James Cameron doesn't have to keep up the pretence. Not only would it cost an enormous amount of money to fake the Apollo Landings, those costs would be ongoing, as there would be close to half a million people you need to keep paying off to stay quiet for 40 plus years.

[Abaddon]

Didn't von Braun originally start out with an enormous single stage rocket as a concept?

You're probably thinking of the direct ascent approach which used a large single stage machine to go from Earth orbit to the moon, then leave the moon intact and re-enter the Earth's atmosphere.  The large lunar vehicle would have required assembly in Earth orbit or a rocket much larger than the Saturn V to lift it to orbit.

Ranb

Yeah, ISTR that was the initial thought, but practical considerations rendered the idea moot. But that was pre- even design phase let alone any physical product.

As far as I recall, von Braun first proposed a direct ascent approach, but it never got beyond a paper exercise. However, faulty memory and all that plays a part. I might very well be misremembering.